Attitude is everything. Such a simple statement should be easy to remember and follow, but it's anything but easy. My marathon mental state is like deja vu, it always starts great and turns into doubt and exhaustion. I truly thought that racing a few half marathons and not pushing the number of long runs would make all the difference, but I can't say that it has.
I wanted one more long run, but in general I should be fine for the marathon on December 2. This weekend's run will be my last before taper (which I'm looking forward to but will undoubtedly get annoyed by in a week) and my body is ready to go the distance but my brain feels stuck. I'm skeptical of the weekend long runs and stuck in some sort of 'fear' about doing them.
What's the solution? I have no idea. Writing my thoughts in the blog helps a lot, as does having the support of runner friends, Daily Mile friends, Oiselle team, and the SF Marathon Ambassador group. I'm in much better mental shape than I was a couple of weeks ago when I almost posted about dropping out of CIM. The marathon and I really don't get along yet, but I keep trying.
What I can say is I found a way to make this weekend's long run more fun; today I signed up for the Clarksburg County 20 Miler as my last training run. Nothing like race energy and 2000 other runners (all events) to brighten the day, right? I'd planned to run 18 and not 20, but I'm comfortable with this idea. Last weekend I ran 16 and walked 2 after so I can always take that approach in this event if needed.
I'm happy that my fear turned into excitement for this weekend - bring on the attitude change. I can't wait to run a new long run route and the photos of the area look gorgeous. Plus, I love small town races!